Learning to be “Selfish” With My Energy

I grew up with extreme fatigue and inability to build muscle. This was from the stress I experienced in my home. As I dove into my healing in my twenties and became more aware of how I experienced my surroundings, one of the things I learned I had to be committed to was guarding my energy expenditure.

Someone who helped me learn this was a gentleman in the senior strength class I was teaching at the YMCA during that time. He was obsessed with government corruption, and would corner other class members to vent about the horrible abuses of power he was reading about. I could almost see his blood pressure rising as he spoke. Being such an empathic person, I was always able to experience other people’s emotions more vividly even than my own. I didn’t blame him for being alarmed and concerned, but I realized that I didn’t have the energetic capacity to engage with him about that.

I still felt guilty about being “selfish” with my energy, but I was beginning to understand that each one of us can only ever be responsible for ourselves. I am the only one who can steward my energy and resources.

As I learned more, I realized it wasn’t selfish at all to guard my energy. My resonance, my mood, has a bigger impact on the people in my sphere than I can measure. More than joining someone in their anger, I could change the world by embodying love, joy, peace, and comfort. If more people on the planet chose those vibrations no-matter-what, it would change how the planet felt.

Of course there are times for every emotion, and I will not judge or assume I know another’s experience. But, as a way of life, I chose where I place my attention. I can choose things that drain me, or I can chose things that nourish me. I vote with my focus.