Pondering Change

I’ve been pondering life today. It is strange how much can change, how one can become so different that they look at their own dreams as foreign.

I think it is because Christmas is happening in a couple days and it feels so distant to me. I used to get excited for holidays, especially Christmas. So many lovely traditions and special times. From a little kid I looked forward to being married to my best friend and making special memories for our kids. Now I am rethinking my life and am not sure if I will get married or have kids. The future is so blank to me. And, as far as holidays, people and friendships are precious to me all the time, regardless of the occasion.

I know the holidays can be challenging in many ways for many reasons, whether you lost a loved one this year, are the only single person you know, finances are limited, traumatic memories are surfacing, or you just aren’t where you thought you’d be. Or something else.

But your life is not defined by how you feel in this moment. You are valuable. There are new days ahead, new opportunities. A whole new year right around the corner. Have grace, love, and forgiveness for yourself.

It may sound like I am sad, but I truly am not. Just reflecting how much life can change while I’m living it. How much my goals and ambitions can change, and how the things I identified myself with in the past can become foreign to me. So interesting.

I am working Christmas eve and Christmas, and really looking forward to it. Feel free to reach out if you need a virtual or real hug. You are worthy. You are loved. That doesn’t change.